Amy Harman, M.A. Ed.
Lead Learner at Wildflower Preschool, Lafayette
As a fellow in the Buell Early Childhood Leadership Program, a partnership of University of Colorado Denver and Clayton Early Learning, I have been challenged to transform my leadership style and re-evaluate the values I hold within the workplace. The opportunities I’ve had to read quality literature and participate in discussions prompted me to take a deeper look at the leader I was, and the leader I wanted to be. I began making small changes and over time my daily practice began to transform into a more intentional and well-rounded approach, including building stronger relationships.
Throughout my year-long journey, I have begun to notice the strong need of belonging in families, our children, as well as our staff and to realize the deep interconnectedness among all of these people involved in care of young children. Through my research, I discovered the need for relationship is “at the core of our human evolution” and the “fear of being rejected or abandoned by others” is real.1
Throughout my year-long journey, I have begun to notice the strong need of belonging in families, our children, as well as our staff and to realize the deep interconnectedness among all of these people involved in care of young children. Through my research, I discovered the need for relationship is “at the core of our human evolution” and the “fear of being rejected or abandoned by others” is real.1
I began to ask the children and families within our smaller school community in Lafayette, Colorado, do they feel connected to their community and what might the role of the school be in fostering this connection? Through family surveys and group discussions we discovered that families are not feeling welcomed in the community. One Wildflower Preschool Parent shared that “It has become harder to get to know people in the broader neighborhood and community”, even with social media. Parents also feel that people don’t truly want children out in the community and when they are, the expectation is that they are well-behaved and quiet. According to another parent, “There are not many places families can go where children are welcome.” Schools, in general, seem to be the one place in our communities where families do feel welcomed. This prompted me to think about how schools can be a hub for relationships and support as well as education. Our school has begun to engage families in more opportunities at the school, as well as find ways to give them a voice in the community to promote tolerance of children’s presence. This support begins with building strong relationships.
Promoting connections and a sense of belonging in a community requires authentic communication. This can only take place when both families and educators hold respect for one another and are transparent and intentional in their interactions with one another. Relationships take time to build, therefore it is important to remember that even the small connections matter; a smile at drop-off, a hug on a hard day, a greeting by name as people enter the room. All of these build upon the other to create lasting relationships on behalf of a child in our preschool. My study showed that regular invitations to one another builds these valuable relationships. Connections and belonging are fundamental to our human existence. We are social beings who need to belong to a group to develop and maintain positive mental health. Five year-old Charlie sums it up when he proclaimed as he left for the summer, “I want everyone’s phone number at school!”
Promoting connections and a sense of belonging in a community requires authentic communication. This can only take place when both families and educators hold respect for one another and are transparent and intentional in their interactions with one another. Relationships take time to build, therefore it is important to remember that even the small connections matter; a smile at drop-off, a hug on a hard day, a greeting by name as people enter the room. All of these build upon the other to create lasting relationships on behalf of a child in our preschool. My study showed that regular invitations to one another builds these valuable relationships. Connections and belonging are fundamental to our human existence. We are social beings who need to belong to a group to develop and maintain positive mental health. Five year-old Charlie sums it up when he proclaimed as he left for the summer, “I want everyone’s phone number at school!”
1. Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The Need To Belong: Desire For Interpersonal Attachments As A Fundamental Human Motivation..Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497-529.