#groundwater
Srivani Tangella
Over 95% of the freshwater on the planet is not above ground where we can see it; it is below the surface in the groundwater. Practicing leadership requires that you explore below the surface.
Have you ever felt like an outsider? Have you ever felt like everything you tried to be accepted did not work? Have you minimized parts of your identity and made yourself small?
As a 9-year old who immigrated to the United States from India, I have felt like the “other” all my life.
“Where do I belong?” is a question that haunts me every day as I navigate the world around me. Feelings of displacement are very real. My duality of experiences means that I am constantly moving between identities and communities that at times feel worlds apart.
But this feeling isn’t unique to immigrants. Think about a time when you felt like you didn’t belong. Really remember that feeling. Does it pull you in and make you want to go deeper and explore your inner groundwater, or does it push you away from wanting to go deeper?
At the start of my leadership journey my feelings of not belonging pushed me away from exploring what role my life experiences and feelings meant for me to practice leadership.
Once I became aware of how important looking within is for practicing leadership, I began to examine my groundwater. After doing the inner work, I took a risk, and put what I was learning about myself and practicing leadership into action and aligned it with my “why.” Below, I will take you through my groundwater story in three parts.
Have you ever felt like an outsider? Have you ever felt like everything you tried to be accepted did not work? Have you minimized parts of your identity and made yourself small?
As a 9-year old who immigrated to the United States from India, I have felt like the “other” all my life.
“Where do I belong?” is a question that haunts me every day as I navigate the world around me. Feelings of displacement are very real. My duality of experiences means that I am constantly moving between identities and communities that at times feel worlds apart.
But this feeling isn’t unique to immigrants. Think about a time when you felt like you didn’t belong. Really remember that feeling. Does it pull you in and make you want to go deeper and explore your inner groundwater, or does it push you away from wanting to go deeper?
At the start of my leadership journey my feelings of not belonging pushed me away from exploring what role my life experiences and feelings meant for me to practice leadership.
Once I became aware of how important looking within is for practicing leadership, I began to examine my groundwater. After doing the inner work, I took a risk, and put what I was learning about myself and practicing leadership into action and aligned it with my “why.” Below, I will take you through my groundwater story in three parts.
Part I: Starting the Journey of Discovery
Reality check
The beginning of my Buell Early Childhood Leadership Program (BECLP) journey started with my application. I boldly proclaimed: “My intention is that BECLP will equip me with the tools, resources, and relationships necessary to be an effective leader in the field of early childhood.” I also said that “I hope to gain a deeper understanding of early childhood issues in Colorado and develop new relationships…” Kind of typical, right? Entering a “leadership” program with preconceived notions of what leadership is supposed to look and sound like. During the first BECLP weekend, I had a strong reaction to sharing so much of myself with people who I had just met! Resistance. Discomfort. Exposure. “Why are we doing this?” “What does this even have to do with leadership?” |
Part II: Examining the Groundwater
Eventually, it became apparent that practicing leadership is about more than tools, resources, or becoming a subject matter expert. Although many parts of the program deeply resonated with me, and I acquired new skills and cultivated meaningful relationships, my BECLP story is about two primary things: 1) exploring myself, and 2) embedding an equity lens into my work.
Start with yourself
The summer courses of “leading within” were absolutely crucial to everything. In my drawing of Theory U, I wrote, “energy flows where intention goes.” The seeds that were planted in the summer gave me the confidence to share my interest around equity with the leadership team at Early Milestones Colorado (Milestones).
Start with yourself
The summer courses of “leading within” were absolutely crucial to everything. In my drawing of Theory U, I wrote, “energy flows where intention goes.” The seeds that were planted in the summer gave me the confidence to share my interest around equity with the leadership team at Early Milestones Colorado (Milestones).
A lot of people want to change the world, but we often fail to turn inward first. I looked externally to solve problems but neglected the internal work. I never wrote an autobiography. BECLP provided me the time and space to deeply reflect on key aspects of my life. It brought up many things that I had neatly tucked away because it was too painful to bring to the surface. It allowed me the support needed to honor all of my experiences (the highs, the lows, the in-betweens) and accept that all of those things make me uniquely me. The autobiography offered an opportunity to go under the surface and walk the path of inner acceptance.
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Leading within heightened my awareness of things I can and cannot control. Accepting that the only thing I can control is my experience within and the way I choose to respond to a situation reminded me of the well-known quote by Mahatma Gandhi “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Practicing leadership from within, showed me that I have to be mindful and always find ways to come back to the present.
Our minds will always tell us there is something wrong with the world, but if we turn inward, then we can appreciate all of these things outside of our control are fleeting states.
Practicing leading within further underscored what I knew and said in my application - that this is a “lifelong process and cannot be achieved by completing one program or curriculum.” This is not a fixed destination.
Practicing leadership from within means you’re always turning inward no matter where you are in the journey of leading with others. Always examining your groundwater. We have to start by looking at and accepting and always questioning ourselves. We have to be really honest with ourselves and question why we are doing what we think we are doing. Of course, this is probably the hardest thing to do! When we are always looking externally or above the surface, then we don’t have to ask ourselves the tough questions. Leadership starts within and it is a lifelong process of listening, learning, and engaging in self-reflection (even when you don’t want to).
Our minds will always tell us there is something wrong with the world, but if we turn inward, then we can appreciate all of these things outside of our control are fleeting states.
Practicing leading within further underscored what I knew and said in my application - that this is a “lifelong process and cannot be achieved by completing one program or curriculum.” This is not a fixed destination.
Practicing leadership from within means you’re always turning inward no matter where you are in the journey of leading with others. Always examining your groundwater. We have to start by looking at and accepting and always questioning ourselves. We have to be really honest with ourselves and question why we are doing what we think we are doing. Of course, this is probably the hardest thing to do! When we are always looking externally or above the surface, then we don’t have to ask ourselves the tough questions. Leadership starts within and it is a lifelong process of listening, learning, and engaging in self-reflection (even when you don’t want to).
Check your groundwater: Which parts need love and care? Which parts need purifying?
Part III: From Theory to Practice
Embedding an equity lens: start with why
The Groundwater is also a metaphor for something even more powerful. What’s the metaphor? It’s a simple tale of dying fish that goes like this:
The Groundwater is also a metaphor for something even more powerful. What’s the metaphor? It’s a simple tale of dying fish that goes like this:
BECLP helped me ask the question: What is my role in bringing an equity lens to all of my work? Studying Appreciative Leadership made me realize it can be challenging to affect change or inspire others if I am not walking the path of integrity. The Equity course helped me remember that I specifically went into public health in graduate school because I wanted to address health inequities in under-resourced communities. I also know inequities exist across all systems, not just health. This reflection reignited a passion that I may have strayed away from. I gained clarity in that I wanted to make a deliberate shift and bring an equity lens to all of my work moving forward.
Since gaining clarity on my “why,” I began supporting Milestones’ ongoing Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) efforts. I conducted interviews and discovered I work alongside colleagues who hold similar definitions, and that equity is a shared value across the organization.
These conversations informed the development of the DEI statement. I presented the statement to our Board of Directors and it was endorsed unanimously. Milestones has also been selected to be a part of Promise54’s Denver Talent & Equity Consortium alongside eight other Denver-based organizations.
Because of the seeds that were planted in the summer, I will be participating, supporting, and co-leading this work with the leadership team into the future. BECLP reignited my “why” and enrolling in this program has set forth a chain of events around my personal and professional journey around equity.
New possibilities await…
Since gaining clarity on my “why,” I began supporting Milestones’ ongoing Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) efforts. I conducted interviews and discovered I work alongside colleagues who hold similar definitions, and that equity is a shared value across the organization.
These conversations informed the development of the DEI statement. I presented the statement to our Board of Directors and it was endorsed unanimously. Milestones has also been selected to be a part of Promise54’s Denver Talent & Equity Consortium alongside eight other Denver-based organizations.
Because of the seeds that were planted in the summer, I will be participating, supporting, and co-leading this work with the leadership team into the future. BECLP reignited my “why” and enrolling in this program has set forth a chain of events around my personal and professional journey around equity.
New possibilities await…